Okay, so everyone who attended Bloggers in Sin City has been writing recaps that are all absolute MUSH. I love mush as much as the next person, but it’s been said. I mean, there is funny shit to document, people! And who better to do it than Mutha’ Fucking Rainbow Brite?
First up, we had an open bar at Sin City Brewing Co. on Thursday night sponsored by the Flamingo Hotel. 3 hours of free drinks? Obvs. Funny shit went down. During a rousing game of Blogger Bingo put together by the lovely Molly of Stratejoy (I learned this last year, say it like the words “Strategy” and “Joy” had 69 puppet sex and reproduced. Yeah, I’ll get to that later). We had to tweet various things. As for me? I learned that Maxie‘s most embarrassing moment happened when she was riding her (then) boyfriend when she noticed that it was extra wet down there. She assumed she was just really excited until she looked down and realized she had started her period and it was ALL OVER HIM. Mine? I was kicking a group of ladies out of our park that were having a bake sale for a kid with CANCER (it’s my job… BELIEVE that I didn’t want to lose those karma points) and as I’m retreating from their questions, I back up into a tree. And then the ladies make that *yikes, ouch* face at me and ask me if I’m okay. Just fucking laugh at me. That way I don’t feel SO INCREDIBLY BAD that you can’t raise any money for this cancer kid because of me.
[Photo Credit: Katelin]
That night, I also propositioned Chelsea to split a tiny blow job with me. NBD. I heard Nico talk in his Bill Cosby voice. That happened. I put my face in Maxie’s boobs at some point. I’m not really sure what happened after that because it all got kind of fuzzy. Maxie’s boobs do that to you. Oh, also, I took pictures standing under a giant pair of legs looking up their owner’s skirt. Who has those, anyway?
[Photo Credit: Tara]
I also morphed into Rainbow Brite. Yeah, morphed. Like a fucking Power Ranger.
Then the Burger Joint saved my life by feeding me with a delicious burger and fries. And there was swing dancing involved in there somewhere. And Maxie drank a bottle of wine at dinner. After that, we headed up to Ashley and Nicole’s room, which has forever been deemed the Speakeasy on foursquare, and I examined the meaning of life on the Philosophy Couch. After a bit of drunk conversation, I headed to my room and passed out.