Miss Part Un? Check it out here.
On Friday morning I joined everyone down by the pool pretty early. Funny thing, just as I was getting used to being, you know, half naked, I turn over to join a conversation and HELLO NIP SLIP. Pretty sure Carly was the only one who actually saw it. Hopefully? As the day went on I laid out and got really really red. I’m doing this on purpose people. But apparently no one can grasp this, so I have to tell this to everyone all day long. I love that everyone was so caring, but saying anything 20 times is going to be annoying. Then I got pretty drunk. And I sorta couldn’t find my bathing suit cover, so I walked back to my room in a stolen pool towel. Molly and James Bond found it though, love them.
[Photo Credit: Becca]
After the lovely jaunt around the hotel in a towel, I got ready to meet everyone for the Chocolate Lounge at the Sugar Factory! RED VELVET MARTINIS WITH CREAM CHEESE FROSTING RIM. Probably the best thing I put in my belly all weekend. And then the sexy French chef fed Jayme chocolate fondue because she asked. Why the fuck didn’t I think of that? On the way to our next stop on the agenda, I got Jennbizzled. Let me explain this. When you’re minding your own fucking business walking down the street and some random asshole (male or female, in my case it was the latter) decides to shove their hand in one of your special places? That’s how you get Jennbizzled. This chick came along and clotheslined my boob! She literally smushed it into my chest. What the actual fuck? I don’t know man.
Next up was Absinthe, And let me say that I have a major girl boner for Melody Sweets and Angel Porrino. But probably the funniest shit in forever was Penny’s Sex Sock Puppets. If Nicole had a twin, her name would be Penny. “She was just like GOBBLIN’ A DICK!” Actually, I’ll let her speak for herself.
After Absinthe, a few of us headed to Serendipity 3. This is one of my favorite restaurants ever, so I had to go back. I split the Macaroni & Cheese with Bacon with Megan and we devoured that shit. The only problem was that we probably got this shittiest waitress ever. She just wanted to get out of there for the night, since we closed the place, but regardless. She was bad. And then I got foursquare stalked. The guy literally tweeted at me that he was there too, and when I looked at the two other tables that had customers and picked him out, he waved at me. And then I tweeted about the stalkerness and he tweeted back. CREEEPY. That night, the macaroni and cheese put me to bed. I also created Jennbizzle and Tara’s Rainbow Room of Love. Flamingo Hotel, room 23092. Check in. It’s the place to be.
Part Trois coming soon!