By the pool on Saturday, a few of us were waiting to cheer Mikael on as she entered the booty shaking contest when all of the sudden… Baby Bash is in the house. What the fuck? Who even IS Baby Bash? Apparently he sings Cyclone. He doesn’t make me want to do it all night long, I’ll tell you that.
[Photo Credit: Caryn]
At Happy Hour at the Saxe Theater, I brought out the cocaine glitter for a few girls to try. Apparently there’s a “tutorial” floating around? I also think we made the security guard think we were really doing cocaine in the bathroom. Eh, such is life. Maybe we were. Maybe we weren’t.
We also had lots of penii floating around as we threw a last minute Bachelorette party for Kaci. I had three drinks at happy hour and I was pretty toasty when we walked five miles to Pure Nightclub and I sobered up. We skipped passed all those hoes waiting in line to dance by ourselves on the dance floor. After a while I was lured up to the roof where I took some awesome pictures and talked with Caryn and Robert the Security Guard (Who else was with us? I’m so sorry I can’t remember!). Robert the Security Guard doesn’t think Paris Hilton is a handful, just that she’s misunderstood and she has an excellent publicist. I returned to the dance floor after Robert the Security Guard actually had to do his job. It was there that I had SIX drinks spilled on my feet. And then everyone wanted to dance in the puddles and splash that shit all over me. And then ugly guys with chubs in their pants tried to grind on me when I WASN’T EVEN DANCING! Ugh, gross. We waited a million years for Will.I.Am. Totes not worth it. We left before he even stepped up to the DJ booth. After someone hurt her knee and someone else was getting grinded on by a couple who apparently thought she was a WALL, we couldn’t stand it anymore. Nico then proposed to carry Mikael back to the hotel because her knee was hurt. I reminded him that she’s quite a bit taller than him without heels. To which he replied, “I’m drunk, I’ll make it happen.”
Brunch the next morning was all sappy and hugs and tears. None of that here.
On the way home, the party cars (Nico, Ashley, Nicole, Katherine and myself) took a detour to see the Diner-Saurs at Peggy Sue’s 50’s Cafe. It was there that we met Nico-Saur.
We also saw duck rape. It was traumatizing. We learned a valuable lesson: QUACK MEANS NO. IN my car, with Ashley & Nicole, we listened to *NSync on repeat the entire way home. It was glorious. Before we could go our separate ways, we had to have one last dinner, so we ate at Buca Di Beppo near Ashley’s apartment. I swear to you that the waiters, waitresses, hosts and hostesses could NOT stop asking us why we were there. We kept making up stories. “We survived Vegas” and “We survived the Raptors” until it just became, “We are celebrating because we are alive now LEAVE US ALONE!”
That was the end of it. We had one last group hug and I got in the car to head home. It really was an amazing weekend. I’ll break for a little mush. I’m so glad I got to meet people I didn’t even know existed on the interwebs like Terra, Caryn, Megan, Michelle, Nicole, Katherine, Bobert, Jayme, Ameena, Tara and Kaci. And even more excited that I got to catch up with slash meet those who I’ve been reading slash crushing on forever. I’m looking at you, Ashley, Nico, Brandy, Maxie, Doni, Jenny, Molly, Stacey, Katelin and Matt. Last but not least, All the Rainbow hugs in the world go to Nicole (and Kelsey, too). Without her, none of this would have ever been possible. /mush.