Category Archives: All About Moi

Prognosis: Unknown

On Saturday afternoon, around 10:30 am, I had just sat down to complete my paper for class that was due the same day (procrastination at it’s best!) when I started feeling a pain in my chest. This felt exactly the same way the pain felt when I would have gallstone attacks before I had my gallbladder removed three years ago. Since it’s been removed, I haven’t had any pain. Until Saturday.

In about five minutes, the pain went from “Ouch!” to

OHMYFUCKINGGODROLLINGAROUNDONTHEFLOORCANT
CATCHMYBREATHPLEASECALLANAMBULANCE.

When I first felt it, I sent a text to SC. He was working on a Saturday morning for inventory. Then I opened a new browser window and searched “gallbladder pain after gallbladder has been removed” or something to that effect. The page didn’t even load before I got a hot flash, felt nauseous, and ran to the bathroom. I broke out in a sweat all over my body and was literally writing in pain all over the bed and floor and everywhere. Next thing I know I’m on the phone with SC and I can’t speak. He’s asking me questions but my breathing is out of control. My hands started cramping up, I couldn’t even think.

While SC was driving home, I attempted to dress myself. I think I had already put my hair up in case I actually puked. He got me straight in the car and took me to the ER where we waited. And waited. Apparently chest pains don’t get you straight in to see a doctor anymore. At least not if you’re 24. And then when I finally did get in to a bed, I waited about an hour more before they even came to hook me up to an IV. They gave me morphine, took all these tests, sent me for an x-ray and EKG and we waited.

By around 3pm we were on our way out the door. The couldn’t find anything “emergently”  wrong with me so they discharged me and told me to see my primary. They also suggested I see my GI doctor who did the gallbladder surgery as well as my OB/GYN, as he might be able to set up a laporoscopic surgery to go in with a camera and look for scar tissue that may be causing a problem.

I got prescription for Prilosec (heartburn medicine) and Percocet (narcotic pain medicine). I can’t take narcotic pain medicine or I throw up. Half a Vicodin sent me into ten hours of heaving until the doctor had to prescribe me something to get me to stop because I was busting my stitches. Prilosec is what they gave me the first time I went to the ER before I found out I had gallstones. I’ve never had heartburn in my life. I’m taking it, but it’s not doing anything.

So what did I end up doing? I went to see my aunt, an ultrasound specialist. She told me that my surgery site looked good and I didn’t have any lingering gallstones. But she also told me that my liver is slightly larger than she’d like and my spleen is definitely enlarged. To her, this meant one of two things. There’s something wrong with my immune system. I may have a virus or a disease. To diagnose that, I’d need more tests done by my primary.

Another idea that she had was that I am projecting my stress inward and making myself sick. That my episode on Saturday may even have been an extreme panic attack. In that case, the solution would be to find a way to relieve my stress or I’d give myself an ulcer (there are none so far).

Either way,  I have to get a diagnosis first. I’ve got an appointment with my primary on Tuesday. In the mean time, I’m just dealing with the moderate pain that I’m in.

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Filed under All About Moi, I Got 99 Problems.

Unresolutions.

I am absolutely against setting unrealistic goals for the year ahead, also known as resolutions. I absolutely plan on sticking with any goal I make for myself. In my mind, resolutions just aren’t meant to be kept. So I have never made resolutions.

There are some things that I’ve been slowly changing over the past few months, and some new things that I’m working on that just happen to fall in between the change of the year.

I’ve been going to school. I started my Bachelor program in communications with an emphasis in digital technology at the University of Phoenix in September. The goal is that I will be working in social media. The program is completely online and I have one class every 5 weeks. I’ve completed 3 classes so far. In the Spring of 2014 I will have my Bachelor’s Degree. This is important because I am under strict rules that I’m not allowed to have a baby until I finish my degree. If we get pregnant on our wedding night (more on that later), I will have my degree before I give birth. That totally counts, right?

Speaking of weddings and babies, we officially set the date! As in, Save The Dates went out and people are already making travel arrangements! We will be getting married on Sunday, September 1, 2013. That’s Labor Day weekend. We have all but put down a deposit on a venue and my dress is bought and paid for! Seriously, guys. I HAVE A WEDDING DRESS. squee.

After we got engaged, I basically resolved that I would not be losing any weight or “sweating for the dress” before the wedding. I’ve never been good at it and I didn’t want to crush myself and feel horribly fat at my wedding. Instead, I decided to keep expectations reasonable and focus on loving myself as I am so I will be comfortable in my own skin and confident at my wedding. But then I started having sleeping troubles. I couldn’t fall asleep, I was restless, and I couldn’t get into a deep enough sleep to feel rested. Someone suggested that I try to exercise to tire myself out. So I tried. And it worked! And then I bought a gym membership and started attending regularly (minor surgery aside). And my gym membership came with free classes. Among those classes are Zumba and yoga, both of which I’ve been wanting to try since before I met SC. That is over two years. It’s time to make this happen, people. So this weekend, I will be attending my first yoga class and my first Zumba class ever. And I am so excited about it!

Speaking of minor surgery. I had two major goals for 2012. Those were to get contacts and to have my wisdom teeth removed. I am an extreme procrastinator when it comes to my health, but SC is very good about pushing me to take care of myself. So I got my contact exam and have been wearing contacts since October. I also scheduled and had 5 teeth removed at the end of November. Goals achieved!

So that is what I’m focusing on at this moment. What are you up to? Do you make resolutions? More importantly, do you keep them?

 

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Filed under All About Moi, College, I'm getting married!

…more on the engagement.

Image

via Fotographia Studios

You didn’t think that would be all I’d say about my engagement, did you? Well, there’s a lot more where that came from. A few weeks ago, SC and I drove out to a little horse trail about 20 minutes from our house where we met my photographer friend from high school, Z, and his business partner, Holly, to do a little engagement session. We didn’t want anything super fancy, just a few shots for the books as well as one or two we could use for Save The Dates, Invitations, etc. Z and Holly blew us out of the water with these pictures, people. They are so great and capture us pretty much perfectly.

Image

via Fotographia Studios

Up until that shoot, things were going exceptionally well. We had found a venue, a photographer, and planned our engagement shoot so that we could send out the Save The Dates in just a few short weeks. Obviously nothing runs that smoothly forever. The venue was all that we could have dreamed of and more. We went and looked at it at sunset, there were lights in the trees and a barn for dancing and there was even a playground to keep the kids occupied. Don’t even get me started on the amazing photos that place would allow. And I was told that we could get it for FREE because SC’s mom was a friend of the owner. Whether there was a miscommunication or someone didn’t give me the right information, I’m still not sure. It turns out that FREE wasn’t actually the case. It was more like two thousand dollars. Which is my entire reception budget. On top of that, the owner wouldn’t sign a contract because he isn’t sure if he is going to sell by next September. So we had to move on. The first place isn’t out, but I can’t wait around for the owner to decide the fate of my wedding. We are looking at a new venue next week sometime.

Image

via Fotographia Studios

In the meantime, I’ve somehow convinced Rachel of Hello, Gorgeous Photography to shoot my wedding. I’m still not entirely sure what I’ve done to deserve this amazing karma, but I’m so glad she is willing to work with my budget and fly across the country. She’s honestly my dream wedding photographer! Aside form that, we might be moving the wedding date up to April, due to some family issues, but that depends on a lot of factors. Plus, we really can’t wait to be married!

Image

via Fotographia Studios

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Filed under I'm getting married!, SC

VEDA, My Degree, A New Job, & the best SURPRISE!

August was probably the craziest month I’ve had in a LONG time. I haven’t been here a lot, but I have been on the internet. I was doing VEDA, which stands for Vlog Every Day in August. So if you want to catch up with me, check out my youtube channel where you can see 31 videos of my amazing mug. But that’s enough about that, because we’ve got a lot of catching up to do!

First of all, in July I decided that I finally wanted to commit to a degree program. So I worked my butt off all through July so that I could start my 2-year online Bachelor’s program on August 7. I’m now in my last week of my first class (I have to complete one class every five weeks, with only one break during the year for Christmas holidays) and so far it’s been a huge success. I’m easily going to pull an A, and I’m 3 units closer to my Bachelor’s degree. That means in May of 2014, I’ll be graduating!

Secondly, back in May when my sister moved here from Massachusetts we started applying for jobs together since she needed at least one job and I wanted out of my position at Michael’s. A few months went by and I didn’t hear anything. But then, at the beginning of August, I got a call asking if I was still interested in an Administrative Assistant position, as they just got around to looking at my résumé. Of course I was, so we had a phone interview right then and there. And I set up an appointment to meet with the interviewer the following week. And then I waited impatiently for that week to pass. I got ready, drove the hour and a half to the main offices, and wiped out as I was walking into the office. I did an interview with bloody hands and knees and I don’t think the interviewer even noticed!

While I had a bad experience before I went in, I definitely rocked that interview! But then she said she’d call within the week and she didn’t call. So I called her. Apparently she liked my persistence, because she did eventually call me back and she offered me the position! I am now an Administrative Assistant for a HVAC / Air Conditioning company. I work 5 minutes from my house, it’s a full-time 8-5 job with benefits! I’ve been working for nearly a month, and I love the environment. I love the work, it satisfies my OCD immensely to organize files all day.

But wait, because I’m not done! Just when I thought this month couldn’t get any crazier, SC proposed! He took me out to the Santa Monica pier, he took my phone from me so that he could “secretly” capture video of the moment, and he got down on his knee right as a street performer was singing the Beauty and The Beast theme song. Of course, I said YES! 

I might have needed some convincing at first. But once we started dating, I knew he was the one almost right away. I would have married him after three months if he’d have been ready then. And I honestly can’t imagine my life without him. I could not be more ecstatic about the path I’m on and where my life is headed.

 

What’s going on in your life? I probably haven’t had a chance to keep up with you lately, so I honestly want to know! What’s up? Let me know in the comments! 

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Filed under All About Moi, College, I'm getting married!, Relationships, SC, VEDA

You already know this, but I’m Jennbizzle & I vlog.

I’m back at it for another year of VEDA, or Vlog Every Day in August. I’m following the prompts provided by We Blog, We Vlog, which is championed by Captain Ashley who was just a guest here. I won’t post them all here, and I hope you know who I am by now, but I thought I’d post this year’s intro if for no other reason than to show you my face. Isn’t it pretty???? You can go subscribe to my channel (if you want to see my mug for the next 30 days) here.  See you on the internet.

 

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Filed under All About Moi, Blogosphere, VEDA, VLOG

Leaving the Nest

It’s that time of year again, I’m going camping. Every year I take an extended week off (no matter what else happens during the year, this is a MUST) to go out in the forest, park my butt and my tent by a river, sunbathe, gossip, and MOST IMPORTANTLY make s’mores. My family comes too. And by that, I mean that we rent out at least 8 camp sites within a relative vicinity of each other (we reserve in January to camp in July!) and I spend a week with 35+ of my family members. I’d say it’s sort of like a family reunion, except that’s what a normal birthday party looks like in my family.

But this year is a bit different for me. In previous years, Aunt B’s family and I shared a camp site. We worked together to buy and prepare all the food and pack the equipment. But since SC moved in last October I thought it was probably time to “leave the nest” and have our own camp site. So I’ve been stressing and preparing for this for a solid month. Because Aunt B and I always had specific jobs that we both did well that contributed to the over all camp site. Now I’ve got to remember to do everything by myself. Even the things that I don’t like doing.

I think I’ve got it pretty much covered after making 10 (YES TEN) extensive lists for packing. Almost everything is packed now. We leave tomorrow. I just finished up the work week and SC should be home in a few hours. We’re both beyond exhausted, and we’ve still gotta load most of the gear into the truck tonight. But after tomorrow, it’s seven solid days of relaxation and bliss. Except for all the work that’s involved.

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Filed under All About Moi, Family, SC

Spilling My Guts and Finding Out What it Means

I’m finally ready to go back to school.

There. It’s out. I can’t take it back. I’d like to start in the fall, though I know I’ve probably put it off for too long and missed a deadline. Aside from taking a class here or there with no real consequence or degree of difficulty, I haven’t been in school for over three years. I could have been done by now, people!

This, added with Brandy‘s post on teachers, has inspired me to finally get my shit together. But the reason that I’ve really put it off for so long is that I’m afraid to choose my next step. What do I really want to do?

I’ve always always ALWAYS wanted to be a jr. high school psychologist. That specific phrase has rolled off my tongue so many times I don’t even know what it means to me anymore. I was incredibly inspired by my school psychologist in junior high and I’ve always wanted to replicate his program. I even directly related these goals to my senior project in high school. And I was still convinced that it was what I wanted to do. So I went and got an AA in Arts & Sciences (because my CC didn’t have Psychology as a major).

But now, I’m not so sure. It’s just that I’ve changed. I’ve learned a ton more about life and while I know that in a perfect world this is exactly the kind of thing I’d love to do, I also know that we don’t life in a perfect world. First, I’d have to find something to establish my career after my B.A. and while continuing my M.A. The likely path, and one I’d ideally love, would be teaching. But teaching is hard, yo. And teaching in California? Nearly impossible on a thousand different levels. I know it would be fulfilling for me, but I also know that I feel like I’m setting myself up to have the soul sucked out of me. I don’t want to go into a degree program feeling like after it’s all over, the only things I’ll be left with are enormous debt I won’t be able to pay off with my chosen career AND I can look forward to getting my soul sucked as well.

Honestly, I’d continue on this path without further introspection if not for this little piece of me that’s nagging to look another direction. I’ve been dipping my toes in the wading pool of online communities for about three years now. I think my entire perspective changed when I went to BiSC for the first time in 2009. Since then, a small part of me has always been drawn to community management and social media. I could rock that shit. But, you know what?

I’m so incredibly scared of changing my life course. What will my family think? Will I be seen as a flip-flopper? Will it take me longer to complete my BA? Honestly, I know that these are kind of irrational questions. None of these things really matter as long as I come out of it happy. 20-somethings are always changing their minds, right? That’s what being young and living and LEARNING is all about.

I give myself good advice sometimes. All it takes is a little writing, getting it all out of my brain and slightly more organized. Suddenly everything becomes so clear. As you can tell, my gut is telling me to do one thing: to alter my goals. But my fear is holding me back.

I feel like this is a huge step, just getting all of this out there for myself. Now I know where I stand. And it’s not in education. I definitely don’t have a desire to be in school for the rest of my life. I’m ready to put my big girl panties on.

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Filed under All About Moi, College, I Got 99 Problems.

Spoken Blog

Nicole came up with the crazy idea that we might actually be able to hear each other’s voices in our writing, if we just recorded them. Who would’ve thought? (also: why didn’t I think of that?) So anyway, she recorded her own Spoken Blog (even though it doesn’t at all showcase how FAST she actually talks) and I decided I’d record one, too.

So here it is, Two Great Loves originally written on January 20, 2011:

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Filed under All About Moi, Blogosphere, I Got 99 Problems., Relationships, SC, Spoken Blog, The Ex

I’m putting it out there, Universe.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to do acrylic nails. It’s the only reason I’ve considered going to beauty school. I don’t want to earn my living at a beauty salon, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m an artist at heart. I love being creative. I’m also a cheapskate, I will never be the girl who goes to get her nails done every couple of weeks. So what I AM saying is this: I love to do nails as a creative outlet, as a hobby. It makes me feel good. But I’m also not saying I wouldn’t enjoy making a little extra on the side doing something that I really enjoy. It’s kind of like etsy. You make crafts because you love to and then you make a tiny profit. I’d love to be able to do that with nails.

So today I spent at leastfour hours watching countless video tutorials on the correct methods to do acrylic nails. And, you know what? I could totally do that. In fact, I’d rock at nails. I just have to put in a lot of time and practice. I have to commit. And ‘m ready to do that.

I’ve set a new life goal for myself, except it’s more like a 6 month goal. By July at the latest, I’d like to be able to make at least 10 dollars doing acrylic nails. IT doesn’t have to be a random customer, there are plenty of my family members who know I can sort of do them and have already expressed interest in my product. I’m just not confident enough in myself yet. I cut up my cuticles all the time and I make myself bleed and I don’t have quality products. I don’t want to offer something that I’m not proud of.

So there, I said it. It’s out there, Universe. I’m gonna make it happen.

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Filed under All About Moi, Life List

ANNOUNCEMENT: I’m a Nerd.

Hey vloggers, I’m back! I’ll be posting videos every single Monday over on The Nerd Nook. This is the first video, check it out. And check out my other amigos on The Nerd Nook: Katherine, Tabitha, and Jeff.

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Filed under All About Moi, Blogosphere, TheNerdNook, VLOG